I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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