Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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