There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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