Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
