if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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