She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize