why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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