it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
