You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
