Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
