this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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