Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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