Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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