He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
