i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
