What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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