I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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