I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
