I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
