He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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