ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
