just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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