I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
