stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
