i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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