names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
