when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
