she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
