pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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