Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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