just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
