Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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