so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
