I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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