I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
