This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
