i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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