He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
