She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
