The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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