life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
