Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
