I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
