Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
