sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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