I just made out with a guy for $7.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
