I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
