I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
