She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
