You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
